SaraEllen

I’ve just been busy, and unsure what direction I want to take this blog.

In the news: man alleged to have been armed with a spork is arrested for robbery.

“Bok-bok-bok! I didn’t get a napkin.”

Re: the Academy Awards. I didn’t watch it, but I looked at it in the paper. Looks like the trend of empire-waist maternity-style dresses shall continue another year, much to the relief and delight of muffin tops around the world.

Those dresses are totally frumpy. Hollywood actresses pay more than I pay in rent on personal trainers, designers, and whatnot just to shroud themselves in what looks like a nylon tricot potato sack.

This style has some merit. If you’re planning on having an entire plate of pasta and three pints of porter, you will be very bloated, and glad you’re wearing one of these. Leave it to popular culture to embrace “letting it all hang out” as some sort of high fashion. This is the self-esteem movement gone way too far. First there came “Gap sizes,” now this.

What is this world coming to? Give me princess seams and spring mix!

This is the gluten-free, egg-free version of the “Nero Bianco” cookie at L’Aroma Bakery in Anchorage, Alaska. Back in the day, the Nero Bianco white-chip-on-dark-cookie was my favorite splurge.

I am so glad my version “works”. This has the same flavor as its glutinous and eggified cousin. The texture is just as moist, although I’m still looking for that little bit of crunchy on the outside. Perhaps a tablespoon of sorghum flour next time?

I am also now using xylitol in baking because it does not spike blood sugar, and it doesn’t have the problems associated with aspartame and splenda.

The chocolate chip cookies posted the other day are merely acceptable compared to these…This recipe makes a small batch of bar cookies in a mini jelly roll pan. You don’t need any more cookies than that anyway.

I don’t have any mouth-watering photography yet, but I plan on making these cookies again and will post a picture. In the meantime, I trust that you all know what a chocolate cookie with white chocolate chips looks like.

Ingredients

• 2 T. Coconut Flour
• 2 T. Tapioca Starch
• 1 T. Buckwheat Flour
• 1 T. Sweet Rice Flour
• 1/4 c. Unsweetened Cocoa
• 1/4 tsp. Xanthan gum
• 1/8 tsp. Salt
• 1T. Flaxseed meal in 3 T. warm water
• 1/8 tsp. Baking Soda in 1/2 T. white vinegar
• 1/4 c. Xylitol granulated sweetener
• 2 T. Agave Nectar
• 1/2 c. White Chocolate Chips
• 2 T. Coconut oil
• 2 T. Grapeseed Oil

Steps:

• Preheat oven to 350 F and spray the mini jelly roll pan.
• Mix the flours, salt, cocoa, xylitol, and xanthan gum in a bowl and set aside
• Make the “flax egg” by whisking one tablespoon ground flaxseed in 3 tablespoons warm water and wait until it forms a gel
• Add the “flax egg,” agave nectar, and oil to the flour mixture and blend together with a spatula.
• In a small glass or bowl, combine the baking soda and vinegar so it foams, then quickly mix that into the batter.
• Fold in the white chips
• With wet hands, spread the cookie batter on the baking sheet and bake for about 15 minutes.
• When partially cool, cut in squares and transfer to a paper towel slipped inside a ziploc bag. Leave the bag unsealed until the cookies are all the way cool. Store in the fridge thereafter.

This recipe is based on “JK’s Favorite Chocolate Chip Cookies” from Small-Batch Baking by Debby Maugans Nakos, adapted so that I can eat it. I think next time I make these, I will use 100% baker’s chocolate instead of the 88% bar.

EDIBLE COOKIES

Ingredients:

• 1/4 c. Coconut Flour (Bob’s Red Mill)
• 2 T. Sweet Rice Flour (Mochiko)
• 1/4 tsp. Xanthan Gum
• 1/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1/8 tsp. salt
• 3 T. unsalted butter at room temperature
• 1/4 c. Agave Nectar
• 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
• 1 T. ground flaxmeal mixed with 3 T. warm water = one “flax egg”
• 1/2 chocolate bar chopped into chunks, 2 T. shredded unsweetened coconut and 1/4 c. pecans, chopped

Pan: mini jelly roll pan (the size that goes into toaster ovens)

• Preheat oven to 350 F. Spray the jelly roll pan with nonstick spray.
• Place the flour, baking soda, xanthan gum and salt in a small bowl. Mix together and set aside.
• Place the butter, agave nectar, “flax egg” and vanilla in a bowl and beat until almost blended.
• Stir in the flour mixture and then the chips/coconut/nuts until all the flour is moistened, but don’t overdo it.
• Spread the batter onto the pan and bake for about 15 minutes.
• Allow to cool and cut into 9 squares.

Here is a funny “music video.”

A fictional account of a woman dealing with a fawning sycophant puppy dog kind of guy.

“I’M RUNNING OUT OF MINUTES”

I’m running out of minutes
You’re running out of charm
You gave yourself an ulcer, over me
And gave me credit, for the harm

When we stood outside the dance hall
in the cold Seattle rain
You tested my compassion
As you divulged your inner pain.

We talked about your drinking,
‘Bout your mama and your dad
And all the while I nodded
And pretended to feel bad.

You would give more than your milk for free
You’d sell the whole damn farm
And now I’m running out of minutes
And you’re running out of charm!

I’m running out of patience
You’re running out of luck
I don’t wanna hear you play guitar
Eat your eggs and sober up

Thank you for the flowers
But I forgot them at the bar
You don’t have to give me things,
it won’t get you very far.

I’m hiding in the bathroom
You’re crying in your beer.
You want me to “express my feelings”
I wanna disappear!

When you took up writing poems
It caused me some alarm
Now I’m running out of minutes
And you’ve run out of charm.

You’re running out of stories
You’re losing all your bets
I care just about as much as I did
When the Yankees played the Mets

That time when you were driving us
In your own hometown,
You were lookin’ at me and forgot the way
It isn’t my fault you’re a clown.

You look at me like a frightened mouse
After the cat is bored with play
Your heart is like a broken cup
Even thrift stores throw away

I will never be your darlin’
Who’ll take you by the arm
And I’m running out of minutes
And you’ve run all out of charm.

© 2008 SaraEllen Hutchison

A fictional account of an average white girl you see hanging around a jail court. I’ll write an upbeat, two-step melody. This is in the spirit of Dorothy Shay.

“THE HIGH CASH BOND”

Arbitrary and capricious
Mean, demanding and officious
I ain’t ever met a judge
To carry such a grudge
And set such a high cash bond.

My baby, baby daddy’s in the jail.
I cannot, I cannot make his bail.
This isn’t what I planned,
So in the courtroom I did stand,
screaming big words, that I don’t understand.

Unreasonable and malicious
Cruel, unusual and suspicious
I ain’t ever met a judge
To carry such a grudge
And set such a high cash bond.

Our daughter, the state of Alaska took ‘er
Because my fiance’s a meth cooker
Last Friday he got caught
And a Trooper’s leg got shot
This time he’ll do more time than for sellin’ pot.

Unconstitutional and outrageous
He’ll be in the can for ages
I ain’t ever met a judge
To carry such a grudge
And set such a high cash bond.

So I’ll go out and smoke my cigarette
With Mr. Bail Bond, I’m going into debt
Like a plastic press-on nail
I will stick around this jail
to feed quarters in the pay phone, and wail.

Revocation of probation
was something else the D.A. mentioned
I ain’t ever met a judge
to barely even budge
And set such a high cash bond

© 2008 SaraEllen Hutchison

So this is the first post in my blog. I finally have a blog. So far, I have spent most of the time trying to get my photo cropped so that it does not cut off my head. And, I am trying to figure out how to properly order my categories. I am beginning to lose patience with the wordpress format. Hopefully I will get the hang of it soon so I can get my stuff up here.

Yes, I finally have a blog and have figured out how to make categories.

I am going to start posting pictures of the dresses I have designed.